when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
