Umm I'm too high to move.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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