The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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