I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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