my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
