He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize