I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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