I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
