Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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