There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
