At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I queefed so loud it echoed.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
How does one acquire holy water?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
