Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
