worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
