i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize