Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
