Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
