Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
