her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
