if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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