True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
