Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
