Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
