Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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