I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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