remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
