Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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