There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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