he wants to bone in the snuggie
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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