Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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