I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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