new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My ass is underappreciated
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
