I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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