we're blogging at a bar
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So many bounce houses so little time
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
