READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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