id be glad to
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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