U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
