Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
