One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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