now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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