My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
