Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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