We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
