i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I can't put those talents on a resume
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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