If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Randomize
