Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
