either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
