i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
