what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
