so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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