Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
