im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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