Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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