My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
