Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
