I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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