he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
