fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize