Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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